Does getting pregnant mean you have to get married? If you’re pregnant and that wasn’t part of your plan, there’s probably a lot going through your mind. Abortion, adoption, getting married pregnancy, how to tell your family… It’s a lot. I understand. I’m a woman’s advocate at ThriVe, a safe space for women in situations like yours. I know what it’s like because many of us women at ThriVe have been through things just like this. We care about you. We believe in you.
So maybe you’re Googling, “getting married pregnancy” to see what others have been through. Totally understandable. But know this: you have the power to decide your future. Even now. And no, you do not have to start planning a wedding if you’re pregnant. Making a decision about this pregnancy is different from making your decision about your life partner. If you are in a relationship you feel secure and confident about, great! But many women become pregnant with a partner they might not have chosen for life. That’s okay.
You deserve to feel confident in your pregnancy decision, whatever relationship status you have. This is your life and your pregnancy.
Let’s look at Aaliyah’s story and how she managed.
Aaliyah’s Story
Aaliyah was just like many other young women, enjoying life and going on dates every now and then. She’d been with her boyfriend for about four months, and things were fun, but she knew deep down that he wasn’t someone she saw a future with. Wedding planning and bridal shopping weren’t remotely on her radar! One night, when he asked her to sleep with him, she decided to go for it. She thought it would be just another part of the fun they were having. But then she missed her period.
Aaliyah didn’t think she’d get pregnant after just one time. It seemed almost impossible. But here she was, holding a positive test. Her heart was racing with emotions she couldn’t quite pin down. Her boyfriend was shocked too, but not in a good way. He said he wasn’t ready to be a dad, and Aaliyah wasn’t sure she was ready to be a mom (or a bride!) — especially not with him.
She knew she wouldn’t be with him forever. They were just dating, after all, and raising a child together didn’t fit into the future she imagined for herself. But she also knew that no matter what she decided, this moment would stay with her for the rest of her life. Could she handle becoming a mom? Could she handle the consequences of ending the pregnancy? What about adoption? Each choice came with its own set of questions and emotions, and Aaliyah felt torn. She needed someone else’s input.
Aaliyah called ThriVe to see if they could help. She was skeptical about calling a stranger to talk about this intimate stuff, but she needed some non-judgmental information. She was relieved to speak with a woman’s advocate. She came to ThriVe to get a pre-abortion screening, so she could learn more about her choices and her pregnancy specifically. She decided to come without her boyfriend so she could have space to think.
After her appointment, she still had lots of thinking to do. But she felt better. She had information about this pregnancy (like how far along she was, that the pregnancy was in the uterus — not ectopic), and understood her choices for next steps. And she knew she had women in her corner that cared about her. She was able to take a breath, knowing she had time to think and not feel rushed into a decision.
Can you relate?
Aaliyah’s story isn’t uncommon. Many women find themselves in situations where a relationship isn’t as serious as the decisions they suddenly have to make. It’s okay to feel conflicted. And it’s okay to take the time to think about what you want and need. You deserve that. The most important thing is that you make the decision that feels right for you, not for anyone else. After all, you’ll be the one most impacted by your decision, no matter what your relationship status is.
Can you relate to Aaliyah’s story? Even if your situation isn’t the same, know that you have the strength and the right to make an authentic choice for your future. Are you searching “getting married pregnancy” and stressing over your future? ThriVe is here to help. We offer no-cost pregnancy testing, ultrasounds, and STI screenings to give you information. If you’re considering abortion, you can make an appointment for a pre-abortion screening.
We’ll support you with medically-accurate information as you navigate this challenging time. And we know that it IS challenging. But you don’t have to face it alone. With a village here to help you, you’ll feel more confident. Whatever you decide (abortion, adoption, or parenting), we’ve got your back with medically-accurate information.
Got more questions about pregnancy and relationships?
If you’re unsure about your relationship, that can make it harder to think about your pregnancy options. I totally understand. But this is your choice, no matter what your relationship status is. Your partner cannot decide for you. This is your decision to make.
Schedule your appointment, where you can learn about your specific pregnancy and which choices are available. As a woman’s advocate, I’m here to talk with you about your relationship, pregnancy, abortion, and more. It’s a safe space. No judgment here.
Let’s address some of the questions you might have:
1. What if I don’t want a relationship with the baby’s father?
Having a baby doesn’t mean you have to stay in a relationship that doesn’t feel right for you. Co-parenting is an option, where both parents contribute to raising the child without being romantically involved. It’s crucial to communicate openly and honestly with the baby’s father. Talk about your feelings and intentions. You will have support whether you’re in a relationship or not.
2. Will having a baby affect my chances of love in the future?
Having a child doesn’t diminish your chances of finding love. It might change the dynamics of dating, but many people find partners who embrace them and their children. The right person will appreciate you for who you are, including your role as a parent.
3. Would it be easier to just have an abortion?
Abortion is a very big decision. Both the abortion pill and surgical abortion procedures have physical and emotional risks. It’s crucial to get all the information for your own health and safety. Your health matters. It’s also important to evaluate your emotional well-being, beliefs, values, and future plans before making a decision. You deserve to feel more confident in your decision. You have time. Don’t let anyone pressure you into anything.
4. My family will want me to get married, but I don’t want to. What can I do?
Family pressure can be intense. But your life decisions are ultimately yours to make. It’s important to talk about your feelings clearly to your family. If you don’t want a long-term relationship with your partner, explain that marriage isn’t the right choice for you at this time. Get support from people you trust or advocates who respect your autonomy. Here at ThriVe, we can provide the information you need to feel confident about your decision. Give some understanding to your family; most families want what’s best for you (even if they don’t understand your situation right now).
5. My partner doesn’t want a baby. Should I have an abortion to save my relationship?
This is a tough situation. But it’s important to reflect on what YOU truly want. While it’s natural to consider your partner’s feelings, the decision should ultimately be based on what’s best for you. A strong relationship should be able to weather difficult decisions.
Think about it — if he isn’t ready to support you in a situation like this, is he right partner for you in the long run? You’re the only one who knows your situation and your feelings. Trust yourself. You’re worth it. I’m here to talk if you need to.
6. How might an abortion impact me and my relationship?
An abortion can have emotional and psychological impacts that last a lifetime. Many women experience feelings of grief or loss. Your relationship may also go through changes, depending on how both partners process the experience. Your relationship will be impacted whether you have an abortion or not. Whatever you decide, it will ultimately be you who’s impacted the most. It’s important to seek support, whether from a women’s advocate, a trusted friend, or family.
Understanding Your Options
Whether you’re considering abortion, adoption, or parenting, you deserve to make an informed decision. An authentic choice aligns with your values and desires. ThriVe offers no-cost services like pregnancy tests, STI screenings, and ultrasounds performed by licensed, registered medical professionals and patient advocacy to help you understand your situation and explore your choices. We’ll have your back no matter what.
Self-Care is Crucial
Take time to reflect on your needs, feelings, and the support system around you. Your well-being matters. Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or ThriVe advocates like me who can provide the guidance and support you need. You’re in a tough situation, no getting around it. But you’re not facing this alone. We’ll be there for you, whether your relationship continues or not.
Remember, this decision is yours to make, and it’s important to choose the path that feels right for you. You are totally capable of making it through this. We believe in you.
