Delaying sex. Celibacy. Practicing abstinence. Sexual fasting.
There are a lot of terms that mean waiting to have sex until you’re in that safe, long-term, monogamous relationship.
But whatever you call it, deciding to delay sex can be a really smart and empowering choice. It’s not about saying “no” to sex forever —just for now. You can take charge of your health and your future. Making this choice now gives you new opportunities for the future. You’ll be able to look back at yourself and feel proud of yourself – for prioritizing your health, your future, and your sense of security. Plus, you may build a stronger relationship in the long run. You’re worth the investment. And although it’s a cliche you might have heard before, you’re worth waiting for.
Here’s why abstinence can be a good idea
1. Getting Closer Emotionally
– Waiting to have sex lets you and your partner get to know each other better. It helps you build trust and understanding without the complications sex can sometimes bring.
2. Better Communication
– Focus on talking and sharing your thoughts. It’ll help create a strong foundation for your relationship. Learn to understand each other’s needs and boundaries. It can even make your relationship stronger and healthier.
3. Understanding Your Feelings
– Taking a break from sex gives you time to think about your feelings for your partner without any pressure. This can help you feel more sure about your relationship and where it’s going.
4. Staying Healthy
– Delaying sex significantly reduces the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Having sex leads to pregnancy. To take charge of your health and your future, consider whether you want to risk it or not. This isn’t about how you appear to others. This is a significant choice that directly affects your well-being. You matter, and your health matters.
5. Respecting Each Other
– Abstinence shows that you respect your partner’s feelings and boundaries. It’s a chance to learn about each other’s values and expectations, which can make your relationship more respectful and understanding.
Whether you’ve had sex before or not, waiting can still be a good choice. Every relationship is different. Taking the time to build a strong connection can make it more meaningful and lasting. Plus, you deserve to be in control of your health and future.
Got more questions about abstinence?
1. What if my partner pressures me to have sex?
It’s important to remember that your body and your choices are yours alone. If your partner loves and respects you, he’ll understand. He should support your decision to wait. If someone pressures you, it might be a sign that they don’t respect you. You may need to reconsider the relationship if that’s the case.
2. Will my relationship suffer if we don’t have sex?
Relationships are about connection, trust, and love. A healthy one isn’t just about sex. Would your relationship be ok if you didn’t have sex? Postponing sex might show you how you really feel about your partner, and whether or not you can see the relationship lasting into the future. And abstinence can actually strengthen your emotional connection. Do you feel like you’re able to connect with your partner?
3. Will people judge me for being abstinent?
As the saying goes, “Haters gonna hate” — and people might have different opinions. But what matters most is how YOU feel about your decision (and that goes for anything in life!). Talk to friends who support and respect your choices. Remember, it’s your body and your life. You get to decide what’s best for you. What feels right for your future?
4. How can I explain my choice to my partner?
Be honest and open about your reasons. You can say something like, “I really care about you. But I want to wait before we have sex. I want to make sure we have a strong foundation and understand each other better.” If he doesn’t agree with your decision, that’s okay. But that doesn’t mean you have to have sex with him. It should always be your choice. You are in control of your health.
5. What if I change my mind later?
You always have the freedom to change your mind. Practicing abstinence now doesn’t mean you can’t decide to have sex later — when you’re ready and in that committed, monogamous relationship. Nothing is set in stone. What’s important is that you feel confident and comfortable with your decision when the time comes.
6. Will abstinence affect my future sex life?
No, waiting to have sex won’t negatively impact your future sex life. In fact, if you take time to understand yourself and your needs, you might have a more fulfilling sexual relationship when you decide the time is right.
7. How can I stay committed to my decision?
Get yourself a village. Surround yourself with friends and activities that align with your values. If you’re in a relationship, talk to your partner about your decision and any challenges you might have. Know that this is a personal choice, NOT a choice that’s made with your dating partner. If he wants to have sex and you don’t, that doesn’t mean you have to. You’re in control. This is your body and you get to choose to have sex or to practice abstinence. If you need a village to support you, ThriVe+ can be that safe space.
8. What if I’ve already had sex but want to wait now?
It’s totally fine to decide to wait — even if you’ve been sexually active before. Your past doesn’t define your current choices. You have the right to make decisions that are best for you at any point in your life. Your value does not depend on your sexual activity. You’re valuable now, and you always have been. No matter what anyone has said to you, you’re in control, and you are beautiful and worth it.
Getting support
Making the decision to practice abstinence can help you focus on building a strong, healthy relationship based on trust and respect. Whatever your choice, it’s important that it’s your own and that you feel confident and respected.
At ThriVe+, we want to give you the info you need to make choices that feel right for you. We’re here to support you, no matter what. You deserve to make decisions you’re confident about. Waiting to have sex is a positive thing. It’s a proactive step toward a healthier and more predictable future.
Do you need support right now? Feeling conflicted about your health choices? If you think you might be pregnant, we’ve got your back. ThriVe+ offers no-cost pregnancy tests and pre-abortion screenings. Our services are by women, for women. You should never have to feel ashamed of your choices or your preferences. ThriVe+ is a secure and positive women’s center where it’s all about prioritizing YOUR health and YOUR choices. If you feel like you need a village right now, ThriVe+ is that safe space. Whether you have questions about abstinence, pregnancy, or abortion, we’ll be here to help. Make an appointment when you feel ready.
